i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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