oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
