this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
