I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
