Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's blow job season.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
