Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
