first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
