allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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