its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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