I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
