I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
