I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
