I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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