I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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