No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
