The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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