guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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