Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
