my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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