it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
