She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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