You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there's paper in my vomit.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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