My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
