I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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