I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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