I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
