i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
