Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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