Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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