found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
