my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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