dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Fuck appropriateness.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
