peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
