We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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