We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
