Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
