the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
