When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
