The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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