Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
