It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
