I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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