It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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