lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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