did you get engaged???
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
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