I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Randomize
