hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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