Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We got so high we made milksteak
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
