I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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