all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
