Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize