its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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