it wasn't lemon gatorade
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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