I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
