I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize