I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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