I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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