There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
