just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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