I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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