My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
