nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
