Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize