We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
