The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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