yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
