I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
