This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize