yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize