Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize