Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
