My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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