hotel room ftw
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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