Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
