i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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