I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
