I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
