i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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