also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
