No awkward lesbian experiences without me
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
