if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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