Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
