do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
